Leggo my Ego

stumax — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 19:03:07 +0000

There’s an excellent post out today by Paul Graham titled Keep Your Identity Small. In it, he argues that the reason that “politics and religion yield such uniquely useless discussions” is because the conversations people have around those topics are wrapped up in their identities. #

For example, a discussion about a battle that included citizens of one or more of the countries involved would probably degenerate into a political argument. But a discussion today about a battle that took place in the Bronze Age probably wouldn’t. No one would know what side to be on. So it’s not politics that’s the source of the trouble, but identity. When people say a discussion has degenerated into a religious war, what they really mean is that it has started to be driven mostly by people’s identities.

He concludes that if we resist labeling ourselves—resist identifying with a technology or ideology, for instance—we can remain open to having better ideas (and better discussions). #

This is exactly on point, in my opinion. The most contentious debates I observe in politics and society are ego-driven. Losing a debate is an intolerable prospect for some folks. Admitting that someone else has a valid point that differs from one’s own feels to some like a mortal wound. This is why some news shows have gotten so contentious: it’s easier for Bill O’Reilly, say, to bluster and badger and browbeat an opponent into submission than to alter the identity he’s built up for himself. O’Reilly’s product is not debate or exploration; Bill O’Reilly’s product is Bill O’Reilly. The product is the identity, and you can’t change the product without the risk that you’ll lose customers. #

(I think this also leads to the clustering of ideologies on news outlets: people with like opinions congregate to reinforce each other’s sense of self.) #

I have always resisted putting bumper stickers on my car or getting tattoos or otherwise indelibly associating with brands or symbols, and perhaps Paul Graham has helped me figure out why: I like knowing that my ideas may change based on new information. I like discovering new thoughts. I like creativity and synthesis, and it’s easier to open myself to all those things when my identity isn’t at stake. #

Although… maybe my identity is really about creativity and embracing change. Maybe it’d be a blow to my ego if I started insisting that I had everything figured out. Maybe I would suffer a bit if I started putting stakes in the ground. #

Maybe I need to be flexible in my thoughts to make me feel whole. #

Eh…I can live with that. #

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Leggo my Ego

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